Finding your happy place and building a happiness habit!
This last year has shown me more than anytime I can remember in the past, that so many beautiful people are searching for their happy space; to belong or feel a sense of stability and peace. Some search for someone to belong too, a soul mate, a child or even a distant relative. Some search for a purpose or reason to life itself. Some search for freedom. Some people are lost and some want to run away and become lost.
The problem with searching for a happy place is that it implies that at the present moment in time you are not happy.
When we are very young we want to be all grown up. When we are young adults we lust for life in an explosion of avenues and generally want to experience everything.
Once we have chosen a career we should feel content but can end up feeling stifled. Then after some consideration we find a life partner and feel complete although this can quickly change and instead we can feel suffocated. When we have children we can feel that a big part of our heart has been unlocked that we never even knew existed and yet within months after sleepless nights, teething and your world being turned upside down you can end up feeling trapped. When our children leave home we can feel the wrench of emptiness as we become for a while surplus to requirements.
During this mid period of our lives most of us will also experience many raw emotions, loss or bereavement, disloyalty, jealousy, drama, trauma, anxiety or bitterness. These negative raw emotions can leave you feeling overwhelmed. On the plus side positive raw emotions can leave you feeling ecstatic, overjoyed and blissful.
All of this in its colourful mix is called living, being human or a human-being, and the search throughout it all is about the ‘feeling’. How many times in the last few minutes have we mentioned the word ‘feeling’?
If we could learn to control our feelings think how much more resilient we would be. We are not talking becoming robots with our feelings, just being able to stop unnecessary anxiety or worrying about things of which we have no control.
Happiness is a choice and a choice that we make each day anew. We cannot hold on to happiness, it’s elusive, but we can choose in the moment to smile and see the light or good in each situation as we go through our day. The choices we have made have got us to where we are today and if we ‘feel’ unhappy or dissatisfied with where we are we have another choice to make. There really are no wrong choices, just detours, u-turns or giant sign posts telling us to find another way. And, many times we find we get ourselves out of one sticky situation only to recreate the experience all over again.
Life really is a journey, a board game, but it doesn’t go in a straight line. Barry H Gillespie wrote; “The path isn’t a straight line; it’s a spiral. You come back to things you thought you understood and see deeper truths. An evolving soul will often come back time and time again to certain themes and lessons.”
An ‘evolving soul’ is what our feelings are bringing to our attention. We are constantly evolving, nothing stands still and what makes us happy today will not necessarily make us happy tomorrow because we have changed.
Everyone knows deep inside what makes them happy. Your loved ones, your career your responsibilities are your choice, you love them all but they mean you have to make sacrifices. However being grateful for them and giving heartfelt thanks for these things in your life every day lightens your vibration and heals all your frustrations.
My sister said to me one day, “these are the best days of our lives, we have our health, we have our children, we have our brothers and sisters, and it will not always be so!” She was right. Time goes by so fast and suddenly someone you love is gone.
So, where is your happy place? It is right now amongst all the ups and downs of life because in this moment you can choose to be happy.
Remember you are an evolving soul so enjoy going round in spirals and learn your lessons. Listen to your feelings and before going to work this morning turn on ‘Fraiser’ and have a good laugh. At the weekend take the children down the beach or out into nature camping away from electronics. Say something meaningful to someone you love. Smile at the next person you see. Cook a beautiful meal. Have a long hot bath at the end of the day whilst sipping your favourite totty. Leave the washing up! Sing at the top of your voice. Hug a tree. Kiss your babies and snuggle them tight. Grab a latte on the way to work.
And do this because, happiness is a habit like every other addiction or habit we pick up. Building a happiness habit encourages us to ‘feel’ more positive emotions which in turn balances out or reduces negative feelings.
You could search for happiness your whole life and not find it. Happiness resides inside you.
Think happy, be happy.